Causes of problems in marriage Where do marriage problems come from, it seems married couples are happy one minute and totally destroyed the next! Why do people call out “save my marriage” with all the advice that is online? Why are there still so many separations and divorces? I hope to cover all this over the next several articles and I hope you follow along.
Causes Of Problems In Marriage
When we get married, marriage problems, separation or divorce is nowhere even close to being in our minds. We do almost, if not everything together and often we even think somewhat alike and that can be shown when one partner starts to say something and the other finishes it. Yes, it is truly wonderful to be in love. For more informative blogs visit Place Do
In keeping with my word on the previous article I posted here, I am looking to cover marriage, married couples, and marriage problems, including saving my marriage topics in a slightly different format than you have seen so far online. I, therefore, ask you to let me know if I am slipping back or if you have a topic you would like me to cover!
So What Changes And Why?
In some ways, most changes can be remarkably similar for the majority of us and that may start with a drop off in communication, perhaps by more Television viewing and less talk, just as one suggestion. Another way problems are given seed to start growing, is by our beginning to do things separately, it could be by playing a sport where one used to go in support of the other, that may have changed or doing the shopping together perhaps that has stopped and only one of you are now doing it, Interests change as we get older or meet different people, say through work or organizational events. These are just a couple of things that tend to get in the way and can create marriage problems. Many things that create marriage problems and often severe ones stem from selfishness that may never have existed within the relationship before, but either found its way in or was brought into the marriage but hidden till a cooling down effect started.
The Cooling Down Effect
The cooling-down effect happens in almost every corner of our lives. Everyone loves new things, so when they try something new and discover they like it, suddenly it becomes the flavor of the month. That is, until we get sick of it, then we start slowing down and eventually stop doing whatever it was, just to chase the next new experience in our lives. This is what I call the cooling down effect; when we start slowing down our efforts within what used to make us so hot with pleasure. This also happens within the marriage arrangement and this is where Causes of problems in marriage can start.
Have We Fallen Out Of Love?
No Way! As one person put this situation and I have heard it quoted quite often by others and that is”; As the honeymoon comes to an end then this is time to get down to living. Every close Married couple has some idea of what the Honeymoon was like mad passion, hot looks into one an-others eye, continual loving gestures, and more but like starting something we have not done before, eventually, all this body heat and lovey-dovey, touchy-feely, long chats and other heartwarming things start to subside. Now this doesn’t mean we have fallen out of love or become used to being married no this is where the actual honeymoon period is finishing and the cooling down period is beginning. This is when the danger flags should rise up within our minds as a warning. This a warning to begin making any necessary changes and get down to living, while looking for ways to stimulate the genuine love you both have for each other.
Getting Down To Living
This is when marriage problems can start and I personally believe every married couple should be spoken to about this, either by parents or counselors because here is where the marriage is made or broken! The last thing anyone wants to hear is the cry to save my marriage! This Honeymoon Period just does not stop dead as though it has hit a brick wall, no, it tapers off so slowly that usually it is not noticed, therefore married couples need to watch out for the signs. It may be when one needs to go to the shop, do a two-minute exercise, and the other when they use to say; “be careful, I love you”; they start forgetting. Now that isn’t anything big and certainly not a divorcable marriage problem but nevertheless, it is the first chip in the paintwork! Don’t let life fool you, for it can be a wonderful servant but a hell of a taskmaster. Allow too many little things to slip by unchecked and then all these little problems eventually come together to form one huge, nasty and bite you on the bottom, serious marriage problem! This does take time but life does have plenty and it can be so patient.
When Marriage Problems Arise
If it is you that is about to explode… DON’T. Just keep passive, so the lines of communication remain open. If the marriage problem causes your partner to explode, then might I gently suggest that you failed to either read or remember the last two paragraphs we went over? Well, we now have a marriage problem! If you have taken notice of the 2 paragraphs above but your partner is a little selfish, something you have not been able to solve. Now is the time to say yes I agree with you”; once they have finished their ranting because they will be blaming you for the way they feel, right down to it’s your fault we have global warming. Agreeing with your spouse should shock them into listening because you cannot have an argument when 2 people agree! Then try to sit down and gently discuss what was said and ask them what you need to work on so as not to upset them in the future. You will find asking how you can improve will be a surprise to your partner and it is not uncommon for them to start making positive changes after they see your efforts and changes you have made. However, more needs to be spoken about with marriage Causes of problems in marriage and we will look to do that in our next post. In the meantime, I do suggest you pick up Save Marriage Right Now as this is a wonderful piece of inexpensive information that has 2 additional very pertinent Bonus eBooks that come with it.
