A couple of Benefits of getting married is a wonderful dream but certain it is not a reality and as long as humankind remains imperfect, married couples with marriage problems will always exist.
Benefits Of Getting Married
The problem is we are all motivated primarily by selfishness but all at different levels. Even the most selfless person has moments of being selfish, the ornate desire to want something so much to be prepared to forget about almost everything and everyone else in order to attain it. This is ground into us from a very young age and often Television is the largest means of transporting this idea into the home. For example, to look cool and be popular you must have this. If you do not have it then you are on the outer. For more informative blogs visit Place Do
What Motivates Us And Where Does It Come From
This playing with the mind, to overly enjoy having things around us, does and it is not just television, pull out a me-first attitude which has taught us, it is not cool to make a compromise, you must have it and have it right now! When one or both parties are ruled by a me-first attitude, no matter how small it may be. a compromise is all but out of the question.
This selfishness springs from the main three things people are guided by and that is…
- What they see!… It needs to look good
- What makes them feel good!… Self-explanatory (If It Feels Good It Is)
- Their position in life!… the desire to be known and be liked or be the best at who they are or what they do.
Each one of those three points can be used to drive selfishness Benefits of getting married. That is when presented to us in the right way, it will build in us the desire and need to have the latest gadget because of one or more of the three points above.
How Does It Get Into Our Marriage
When we first meet the love of our life, without realizing it and the Benefits of getting married effort, we both cover over the me-first attitude due to having a brand new toy to play with. This becomes our me first and for want of a better word, our “possession”. We look after our first possession very carefully, as this one can walk away at any time, and unless we put forward our best efforts we may lose our new possession. Our self-sacrificing spirit is at its highest, until we either get fed up with playing with it or the ecstasy of our newfound possession, which we guard with our life, agrees to marry us.
Sadly though what has been ground into us for 20-plus years is hard to get rid of over 3 years, particularly if we are only covering it over and not realizing that is what we are…selfish and trying to push it out of our lives. Eventually, this first selfishness raises its ugly head, in little ways at first, till we get used to it and it eventually grows to take over our lives once again, and having a partner who is in opposition to feeding our desire, we start pulling away. That is when the Benefits of getting married raise its head and turn severe.
Examples Of Selfishness
Let’s play a little, for the point of this exercise let us say you are married to me and our gender is neutral, that is neither male nor female (to keep Sex out of it). After we have been spending every possible minute together, I come home 3 hours late from work because I had a couple of milks with a few other gender neutrals to celebrate the birthday of a close office neutral. I thought one quick one and I will be home but I never contacted you to let you know. Benefits of getting married How would you react? When I get home your first reaction would be to ask are you alright? I say yeah just had a couple of milks with me neutrals! Now you’re a little hurt because I never told you or at least contacted you to let you know.
Continuing on let’s say it was you who after work went to fill in the numbers for a workmate who had a party and so many had dropped out leaving them feeling almost embarrassed about holding it. You knew it would be a great deal of fun, so work finishes, you go straight there thinking you will only be there 30 minutes, only to get home to me about 2 and a half hours late. How would I feel? The same as you did and it would go the same way as the example above.
Let’s now consider why I went to have milk with my neutrals, perhaps I was outside caught and could not ring you, then really, I should have said no and left my best wishes. If it was that I forgot to ring you, then my thoughts have turned inward for that moment and when they turned inward it means or shows I am thinking of myself first/selfishness. Benefits of getting married After the first drink perhaps time got away from me. If that were so it means I was having a good time, nothing wrong with that however because you were at home worrying my good time was at your expense and that’s not fair! Again selfishness!
Why did you go to the party and not tell me? Didn’t you want me there? or like most things to do after work, I am not invited, the same as other partners. Why then didn’t you ring me? Same as above! However you may have been pushed into going to the party or been looked at in a poor way at work if you didn’t go and perhaps not ringing me was a genuine mistake but you were there two hours longer than you planned, so you had to of been enjoying it, otherwise, the time would have dragged so slowly. See how having a good time becomes more important than contacting me? it is selfishness that has stepped back into your life. If you were never like that, then doing those things like overtime and staying at the party would never have happened because you were too worried about how I felt. It is the same with me when I spent three hours down at the dairy drinking milk!
In Summation
That is a simple exercise on exactly what does happen eventually in marriage at some time. Eventually what we were in the past does work its way into the marriage and if not checked and spoken about at the right time, then the Benefits of getting married will be abundant. It is simple to say to a person who asks “save my marriage” to give the exact right answer, Yes I will Save Marriage Right Now!! Both of you STOP being Selfish! Now I would not be treated very nicely by someone if I just bust out and said that, so now I have to play with feelings and slowly work to a point when I can say that! So In the words of Ned Kelly, an Australian Bush Ranger who stated his last words before his hanging, “Such is life”! Yet your marriage problems do not need to be that bad if only one of you worked hard at checking on and trying to stop being selfish!
